America is full of idiots....

You told me you wanted me to blog my travel experiences so here you go. Part of why I want to do this is so I can report this to my Boss at review time to justify my enormous raise based on dealing with idiots on a weekly basis all around this country. If I can convince her that I should get $5 a year more per idiot in 2015, I can finally take that Bora Bora trip I've been wanting to go on.  So here goes.

Oh, and for this blog, I don't care about grammatical and spelling errors so for those of you that do care, stop reading this immediately.

First, I'll start by telling you what exactly I do for a living as no one can figure out, and sometimes neither can I. The company I work for, provides management software for insurance agencies, like the one I used to work for. I felt I was pretty savvy on the product (one of many my company provides) that I used for 10 years so I decided to take my brilliance to the source and somehow I got the job (without an funny business). To this day, I have no clue how I landed this gig as what I thought I knew, was about 5% of the knowledge I actually needed to successfully do this job. We (my Boss and I) have decided that my ability to bullshit has bridged the gap between what I do know vs what I don't know. If could put it into non software/insurance industry terminology, as a Solution Consultant I have to: be able to really read people, be professional (for any of you that know me, this is tough), know several software systems that is equivalent to  knowing every recipe in Julia Child's "The Art of French Cuisine" cookbook, backwards and forwards and come up with solutions equivalent to the following cooking related issues: rolling out pizza dough with no hands, a deaf person listening for the oven timer, a blind fella measuring ingredients by "eying" them, baking cupcakes using only a microwave, making a steak using chicken, all while rowing a boat, through Niagara Falls. You think I'm joking. OK, the Niagara Falls thing might be a stretch.

This crazy job does not occur in San Diego. It occurs in the most glorious of places, the Mid West. Sometimes I get lucky and get to travel in my own time zone but keep in mind that includes the Central Valley of California, which is as pleasant as a bikini wax. When I first got this job, the first place I traveled to was Dickinson, North Dakota. It was my first introduction into referring to airport's/towns  solely by their three digit code (truth is, you begin to speak about cities using only these code's). The code for Dickinson, ND is DIK. I'll leave you with that.

I'm going to try and post about every trip even if its just to report my miles flown (something I want to track this year) and the # of idiot sightings (for money purposes). My first trip is in two weeks to ORD (aka Chicago). It's my company's annual Sales meeting and since I'm in the Sales Department, I get invited. Should I survive the bitter cold, I'm certain there will be some good stories that come from it! Stay tuned....

Cheers!
CP